PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
HIPPOCRATES:Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
BILL GATES: Our soon-to-be-released Chicken ’98 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive manoeuvre, the chicken obviously didn’t see the road until he had already started to cross.
COLONEL SANDERS(Famed for Kentucky Fried Chicken):I missed one?
PHYSICIST: Because the chicken’s momentum had a positive component towards the other side of the road.
QUANTUM PHYSICIST: Because you measured its momentum too precisely.
MATHEMATICIAN: Because of the intermediate values theorem.
ALGEBRAIC GEOMETRIST: Well, consider a faithfully flat etale coherent sheaf…
C PROGRAMMER: cross_road() was called fromget_other_side()
I sent my Chicken across the Road,
Some Letter of that Other-side to download:
And by and by my Chicken return’d to me,
And answer’d “I Myself am Princess and Toad”
MARKETING DIVISION OF MICROSOFT CORPORATION: Where does your chicken want to go today?
To cross, or not to cross, that is the question: –
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind, to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous side;
Or to take arms against a road of troubles,
And by crossing end them?
THERMODYNAMIST: Because the pressure of chickens was greater on this side of the road, and the chicken’s crossing made the entropy greater.